I had the privilege of speaking to a group of women in my community a couple of weeks ago. I shared my experience of losing my children and what that journey looked like. I keep thinking about those women and I think about you. It’s what spurs me on to keep sharing my story. I’m always terrified but I choose courage over fear! It’s how I win and how God wins. He takes something so horrible and tragic and is able to use it to bring life. I love that song that says “you make beautiful things out of the dust, you make beautiful things out of us.”
After losing Jacob I was in a battle for my life. I wanted to die but I thought if I killed myself I’d go to Hell. I have now learned through God’s Word the only sin we go to Hell for is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, turning away from God and denying Jesus. Honestly this belief is the only reason I did not kill myself. I was stuck here in this world separated from Jacob. I wanted to be there, not here. The days became too long and too hard. It was all I could do to breath. I decided if I had to live then I would just stay in the bed until the day I died. It was during this time I experienced the super natural power of God! I watched my legs lift me off the bed every morning for 3 mornings. God was carrying me. On day 3, God spoke to me so vividly, not audibly but as close as it gets. He said “Stephanie, bend down and draw a line in the carpet.” This is where my journey took a turn.
John 10:10 tells us that Jesus came to give LIFE and to give it ABUNDANTLY. After I drew my line in the carpet I sat down…..stuck on one side of it. During this time God showed me that I wasn’t living the abundant life Jesus died for. He was carrying me, but I wasn’t really living. He began to use my son’s death and parallel it with His son’s death to speak to my heart! He showed me that living ABUNDANTLY is a choice. I could proceed to get up and go through the motions each day but that’s not what Jesus died for. I was wasting Jesus’ death and what God allowed to be done to Jesus for me. It was all for nothing…in my situation. I can’t understand the depth of God’s love for me to have made that choice. I don’t love anyone enough to give my child for them, no one. This love is supernatural!
Just because you are breathing does not mean you are LIVING. My question to you is this: What area of your life are you dead in? Is it your marriage? Are you waiting on God to resurrect it? Truth is we have free will. He needs you to partner with him to resurrect it. What is your choice? If divorce is an option for you and it’s in the back of your head then your marriage won’t experience abundance, ever. When you say “I will stay in this marriage and make it work no matter what and it will thrive”, that is when LIFE comes in.
What about those who are not experiencing peace? Do you have anxiety? Fear? Are you waiting for God to heal you of it and take it away? What have you done to take what is yours? Do you know that FREEDOM is yours? That JOY is yours? Do you believe it? Why would the Word say it if it were not so? Are you accepting this as a sickness and something you have to deal with the rest of your life? The cards you’ve been dealt? The thorn in your side? Are you actively fighting it or do you accept it? What is your choice?
What about grief? Who has allowed death to steal your JOY? That was me! Are you like I was? Do you know who comes to Steal, Kill and Destroy? That is your enemy. Not God. If you blame God and think He took your loved one then you won’t find peace. It is that simple. If you think physical suffering is God’s will and plan then you won’t ever find JOY in the midst of grief.
It is imperative that we get in God’s Word to know what to fight or what to accept. It’s a matter of life and death. If it’s from God then we accept it by Faith. If it’s from the devil then we fight against it. So many of us believe things coming at us and into our lives are from God; we’ve not filtered it through God’s Word. God’s promise is to use what was meant to kill us for GOOD! That is how you and I win.
I asked the ladies that night to identify an area in their life they needed to make a choice in, to live. The answers were heart wrenching, inspiring, brave and bold! I was so humbled that God was working on their hearts and allowing my story to bring about a change.
Now that brings me to you, the person reading this blog article. What is your choice? Draw your line, choose life and step over to the other side where there is ABUNDANT LIFE! Pick up your weapons and fight. There is abundant life to be had in your marriage, your health, your peace, relationships, finances, etc. You just have to claim what is YOURS. Do your part and He will do His, I am a living and breathing testimony to this truth. I’d love to hear from you. What choice are you making today? What area are you going to stop allowing Satan to steal from you and take what is rightfully yours?